Love Letter From Home

My day received an unexpected lift this morning. I received a package from my wife with one of the nicest, most romantic letters I've ever read. Though I have not enjoyed being apart from my wife for this long (I left last January), there have been some valuable lessons learned:

1. My wife is my best friend.
I always knew this. But the sense of this, and the true meaning of this has been heightened to levels I could never have comprehended. Her physical absence from my life has exposed gaping holes in my daily life that cannot be filled by anyone else. So now when I say that my wife is my best friend, I mean my wife is my best friend...to the core of my soul. Hers is the presence I long to wake up to in the morning. I miss praying beside her as she lay sleeping. I miss kissing her goodbye every morning as I go to work. I miss calling her during the day from work and giving her an update on how much I love her. I miss cooking dinner for her, her cooking dinner for me, watching TV with her, doing laundry together, taking the trash up our mountainous driveway for her, seeing her pantyhose hanging from the shower curtain rail. What I miss most of all is being in her presence and talking. There is no one else that I can talk to like I can with her.

2. There is no end to the pain of being separated.
I have had a dull ache in my chest every day of my absence from home. It has never gone away. My heart has truly been torn in two, with the biggest part of it remaining at home with my wife and children. That is not to say that I have been moping around in depression, wearing a long face, sack cloth, and dumping ashes over my head. But I have always felt the separation in a physical way. And what is most interesting is that the closer I get to going home, the harder it has been to be away.

3. God is the source of strength and comfort.
As much as I rely on my wife, and I do quite a bit (she will be the first to tell you), God is ultimately the source of strength and comfort. I have had to trust Him more than I ever thought I could. To be honest, my prayer and Bible study routine was pretty pathetic until I came to Iraq. I believed and I had my core principles of faith. But it was here that I truly opened up my heart to God in a way that I have never done before. And, once again, I must acknowledge the role of my wife in this. Through the years of our marriage she has been a role model for me. She has demonstrated forgiveness, kindness, charity, and love in ways that I've never seen in another human being. She opened my eyes to the fact that God loves me and that He has forgiven me. She belives in God's grace, and she taught me His grace.

4. I am blessed far more than I deserve.
One of the false beliefs that I grew up with was the idea that you must earn God's favor. Well...I think my life is a shining example of just how ridiculous that thought process was. I took over the Apostle Paul's station as Chief Sinner a long time ago. And despite my sinfulness, God has continued to bless me abundantly. I don't need to look any further than the pictures of my children to know this truth. I am not lucky...I am blessed! The truth is, we all are blessed abundantly, regardless of our social class. None of us deserve what we have been given. I think this is true especially of Americans and the Western World. This is not something to feel guilty about or rue. It is something to rejoice in and be glad. I do not know why God has smiled on the West so much. Perhaps I will take that on in another post some day. It is an interesting thought.

5. Home is where my heart is!
I belong with my wife and kids. They are gifts from God and I treasure them beyond words. My most important roles in life are husband and father. Everything else I do is trivial. Within these two roles, God has encompassed all of my duties as His servant...all of my duties.